i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
