what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
