we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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