i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
