now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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