I am midnight drunk by noon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
