There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
