last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
