i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it because I queefed?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
