brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
