She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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