he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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