thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize