we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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