that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
