i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
