Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
