nutella sex= disaster
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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