You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
