my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
