just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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