so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
