Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
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I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
