There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
