wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Your dad touched me again.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
