How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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