I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize