Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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