Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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