I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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