"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
