so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
