My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
