i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i have two assholes
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
