Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
