Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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