Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
