wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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