We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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