I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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