Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
