Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
