I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
