Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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