I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do vagina's smell?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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