I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
