Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
sex in a hospital.. check
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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