No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
