You don't have asthma, your pregnant
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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