Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
