Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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