I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
