Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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