We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
