I think i peed on brittanys purse
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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