I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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