I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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