honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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