Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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